Lesson #5 - You're an Athlete Damnit!

Derby's middle name is Contact Sport, so at some point plan on making a trip to the doctor's office... unless of course you're a superhuman, in which case please tell me your secret. I will pay.

I'm in blue =)

Halfway through my first season, terrible, mind-numbing aches and pains racked my right shoulder. It felt like a giant ball nestled underneath my shoulder blade, forcing it to push off my ribcage and attempt to escape from my back all together. I couldn't sleep; my mood was also constantly on edge. Compare the feeling to a migraine, something only you can feel and nobody else can see.

So I broke down and went a physical therapist. Okay my doctor actually sent me for my TMJ disorder (my jaw clicks/dislocates when I chew) and I just happened to throw my shoulder ache into the conversation. Begin three months of worthless therapy.

Now keep in mind while you're reading this, I have a huge bias against the physical therapist I went to. They took advantage of the fact I have insurance, even to the extent of misdiagnosing me to prolong my treatment/office visits. I don't think I've ever been more pissed off at the medical industry before in my life. All that aside though... I do whole heartedly believe in the work of GOOD physical therapists.

P.T. (even though it does take a few visits) retrains your muscles/body to fix whatever is causing your pain. EX. I had no idea that crossing one leg over the other screws up my back alignment; or typing with my torso twisted ever so slightly messes my muscles up.

Okay, on with the story. So a month into my physical therapy, aka one hour shoulder massage sessions, my shoulder still ached like crazy. My physical therapist thought herself nothing short of God, so instead of approaching my continued pain with the idea of "Maybe there's something else causing this pain other than her shoulder," or "Maybe there's a better approach to her treatment than what I've been doing;" she shot me down everytime saying my pain would never go away until I quit roller derby.

So much manlier than my doctor...

Yeah, I held back the F-bomb. Quit roller derby? That's an insult worse then telling a new mother her baby is hideous and should be given up for adoption. And you know why she suggested this?

Three hypotheses:

1.) She didn't want to admit she was wrong. Instead she chose to shift blame from her expert diagnoses to my own neglect (which is bull honkey because this whole time, I had been sitting out of drills with shoulder contact, doing my stretches, using a heat pad, and regularly icing my afflicted area.)

2.) My therapist was stuck in society's warped gender restrictions. Females aren't athletes; roller derby isn't a real sport. She was disgusted with me for refusing to give up something she merely viewed as a disposable hobby.

3.) I did not communicate my passion for roller derby correctly. Even though it seemed like that's the only thing we would talk about in our sessions, I failed to relay "I'M AN ATHLETE LADY!" and need to be treated as such.

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In the end it turned out my therapist was wrong and I actually have a condition called scoliosis* caused from sitting awardly at my desk job for eight hours a day the past three years. I called them morons and switched physicians.

*Scoliosis is a curvature of the spine. My lower back twists to where the left side raises out further and pushes the right side in, causing my right shoulder to overcorrect the spinal twist before it reaches my neck; and thus, causing me pain. When I was diagnosed correctly, it only took one treatment for me to feel relief.

The lessons I have for you:

-I am an athlete. At first I let my doctor convince me derby qualifies as nothng more than recreation. No matter what physical activity you do whether it be roller derby, running, rugby, etc., if you are passionate about it and the sport adds to your quality of life, consider youself an full-fledged athlete. Nobody said you have to make a living with a sport to attain the title.  

- If a treatment is not improving your conditions (within a reasonable timeframe) and you are following all the regiments lined out for you (ex. no contact, strengthening exercises), make sure to speak up. I was too timid when I should have voiced my opinion. I was paying for the treatment and should have had a say in it. Also don't be afraid to get a second opinion. A true professional will not be offended by this decision... and seriously if you or your insurance are going to be shelling over thousands of dollars like I did, it's a fiscally wise move.

- Lay down the law and set goals. Right off the bat tell your doctor you are an athlete and should be treated no different than the over-paid indoor football team they treat. Most patients they see in a day are geriatric, recovering from intense surgery, or "inactive"; physicians have unfortunately grown accustomed to this type of treatment level. Shake them out of that stereotype and let them know they need to raise the bar and get you back in action as fast as humanly possible.

Remember above all else you know your body. If something hurts, get it fixed. If you need to sit out a game, sit out! While healing quickly and committing fully to a healing regime is ideal; don't overdo it and make an injury worse or, Chuck Norris forbid, permanent.

Live to play another game!

The Hoff wants you to play again!